As a mom of two young children, I’ve learned that surviving two under two requires trust, strategic rest, and self-care. Here are six tips that helped me thrive during this challenging phase:
- Trust your toddler.
- I had a rock solid routine for my toddler prior to the birth of my second child. We would play, eat dinner, have a bath and go to sleep by 8 (generally). The idea was that when new baby came home and everything changed, we would at least still have our routine. That is not at all what happened.
- The first night home with new baby I felt like I had to keep them completely separate. I didn’t want my toddler to hurt the new baby, and I wanted my toddler to still feel like the special girl she is. This became exhausting after a few weeks. I didn’t feel like I was connecting with either child because I always had this split mindset. Things needed to change.
- I started letting my toddler sit with me while I fed or rocked the new baby to sleep, I started teaching her about her little sister. She started to understand when new baby was eating, sleeping, getting a new diaper. I started to feel a genuine connection with my toddler AND my new baby. I just needed to trust my toddler to be a good big sister, which she absolutely is.
- Don’t hate me for this – but sleep when the kids sleep.
- Surviving two under two requires strategic rest whenever possible. My toddler had a predictable nap time, so I would try to nap when she napped. . I would put my new baby’s owlet dream sock on and lay her down next to me in her bassinet. Even if I didn’t get much sleep, I prioritized letting my body rest. To thrive during this challenging phase, consider maintaining your toddler’s daycare routine when your partner goes back to work. If you don’t have a daycare, you should consider reaching out to someone who can babysit for a few hours a day to let you get a nap in. It does get easier!
- Use Baby wearing as much as you can.
- Baby wearing was my favorite way to bond with new baby while caring for my toddler or getting tasks done around the house. I prefer to use a wrap, but they also make great carriers. I think it just comes down to personal preference. At first, I was worried my new baby wouldn’t like the movement, but someone reminded me that they have been strapped to you for nine months! This is the ultimate comfort. (click here to see my other product recommendations)
- Find an online mom group or see if your Church has a community.
- Joining an online mom group or finding a community at my church helped me feel sane and connected. It’s essential to have a support system when managing two under two.
- Meal prep and actually go through with it.
- I am great at meal prepping. I am terrible at follow through. I tried to make full spreads every night and really show off – I failed miserably. The best thing that worked for me was to make casseroles. These are super easy and can be frozen, so you prep one day of the week and then just thaw and pop it in the oven when you’re ready for it. This blog has some great make-ahead recipes.
- Take care of yourself.
- Put the baby in the swing, put it in front of the shower, and shower. It is okay if your baby cries for a few minutes so you can wash out that week old milk that got in your hair. Self-care is crucial when surviving two under two. I prioritized showering and taking breaks, even if it meant letting my toddler play in the shower with me.
Remember, thriving with two under two requires patience, trust, and self-care. By following these tips, you can navigate this challenging phase with confidence and celebrate the small wins.
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